Uncontrollable...

I've been known to insert foot and think later... It's been getting worse lately.  My anxiety is through the roof, and hopefully in the next couple days, I will have an appointment to get back on meds, because Lord knows that I need them.  I have never had as many problems feeling this way.  It's been hurting me everywhere, at work, at home, in the grocery store even.  There aren't many people that lives close enough that i can talk to, but the ones that I want to talk to the most, it just makes me upset that they live so far away.  I'm glad I have the people here that I do, and that they've been so willing to help.... I don't know.  My mind gets so scatterbrained anymore... Anyway, the important things... The kids are doing well... Sayde will be nine this weekend, and is almost as tall as my shoulder... Austin just turned eight, and in a few short months, Autumn will be three.  I cannot believe how fast these last few years have gone, and the struggles we've gotten through. I feel so proud of our achievements, and we still feel we have so many hurdles to pass.  We're getting there, though.  Hopefully soon, we can add some more pictures of the kids... For now, here's some of the younger days of all three kiddos :)

Changes

      So, I pulled off my facebook page, and I want it to stay that way for a while.  There are a lot of things in my life that I need to focus on, and it starts with me and my family.  My head has been out there, like crazy out there.  I have never felt so out of sorts and not myself.  So, hopefully, in the next few weeks, I will be able to get to a doctor that can help with some medication, like what I was on before.  I hope that everyone understands, but I also know not many people give a damn anyways, and I don't even know if anyone reads my blogs anymore anyway, so whatever.

Anyway, the kids are doing good, healthy and still doing well in school.  For the most part, lol.  Austin is having some issues being a bully again in school, but we are working with the school to try to help him out on that aspect.  We'll see.  That's my update for now, don't have much more to say right now.  Hope everyone else is doing well.

Just plain bitchy

It is very hard for me lately to be nice to people.  I am usually not like that either.  I just want to fight, and I want to win lol.  I am so sick of double standard, hypocritical, rude people, it makes me sick to my stomach.  It's no wonder people become recluses, and don't come out of their homes.  All of the other people on the outside cause word vomit.  I'm so serious I could burst!!!!  I love my job, don't get me wrong.  Some of the people that go somewhere to be served can be so rude.  Like I was put on the earth to be your bitch.  Really?  'Cause I'm pretty sure the only person that would ever remotely be close to using that name on me would be my husband, and even he wouldn't call me that.  And then there are people who seem to think that the world needs to stop on them, and that their problems should be what everybody dwells on every single day.  I'm sorry your life sucks right now, but don't think that your problems are the only ones in the world, and the rest of us need to piddle fart around you while you heal.  Everybody else has issues too, and you're becoming one of them in the process.  Two faced people, who are nice to your face, make you feel awesome, and worth something, then turn around and back stab you are getting on my nerves too.  Don't look at me and tell me I'm awesome with your fingers crossed and go to someone the next day and act like I'm the devil.  Karma is a bitch, and I'm about to be Karma's best friend.  Maybe I'll go postal and then blame it on hormones.  That sounds like fun.  Or maybe I just need to get ammo and go shooting for awhile.  Blow some shit up.  That might be even better lol.  Anyway, pointless rant tonight.  Not like anyone reads shit anyways.